I have to say, one of life’s pleasures, is food.
Specifically, red meat. I hope I never have a heart condition, because when I’m craving meat, I’m craving red. Chicken, unless in wing form, or slathered in Swiss Chalet sauce, has never held sizable fascination for me…beef on the other hand, is one of my closet desires. When I’m out at a restaurant, I want steak…or a burger…or steak with bacon around it (really I’ll settle for anything with bacon around it)! UNLESS of course, the restaurant is known for it’s seafood…in which case, I’ll be okay with a calamari or shrimp dish.
I have this theory that the human body often craves the nutrients it’s lacking. I often crave foods rich in iron (which in light of my anemia, makes perfect sense)…red meat, spinach, oatmeal… When I’m happy I don’t crave sweets, when I’m not so happy, I crave them like a banchee - who needs a high when one is high already? But when one feels low…hello chocolate! Before I lose a layer of uterus each month, I crave salt…enter severe water retention (no I’m not wearing an inner-tube around my waste). During the layer-losing, I want more red meat… When I have too many sweet things, I crave broccoli. In the winter, I can’t get enough orange juice. It’s like a well-oiled machine.
I wonder if other people think that their bodies are as smart as I think mine is? I imagine my brain being at the helm of decision-making when I think about how my body works…but how much of that decision-making is conscious? I heard once that we only use 30% of our brains…well what the heck is the other 70% doing? Perhaps we’re not in control…but some other force is…the kind of force that brings a burger craving out of the depths of my unconscious and won’t rest until it’s palate is satisfied (picture a wide-eyed white girl running down the street to the nearest Wendy’s and you have it right). We’ll call this force, this alter-ego of mine, ‘Gladys’. It seems as though she’s looking out for my best interests, but it’s just odd that Gladys seems to know me better than I know myself.
I would like to ask Gladys some questions.
1. What is the secret to my metabolism? I could make millions…
2. Why don’t I like cheese? I get made fun of for this a lot…mostly by my husband, and would like this to change.
3. What is it about fish fillets (without cheese) at McDonalds that I like so much?
4. What is it about freshly cut firewood that reminds me of chicken?
5. Why would I, if it was socially acceptable, eat pickles with almost every meal?
Gladys, I know you’re there listening…hopefully we’ll meet soon. Until then, no funny business in the cravings department. I’m making new friends here in Inuvik, and I don’t need them thinking I’m weirder than I really am.
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